Phew! MARRIAGE, the moment this word lands on one's ears, there is a trigger of mixed emotions. From the happiness of having someone by your side to also having to bear that 'someone' for a lifetime, the idea of marriage is not always welcome. But it is something that one undergoes at some or the other stage in life.
Marriage is all about togetherness, forgiveness, and perseverance. It begins with love. Then follows a journey of awakening, of discovering oneself along with a constant exploration of the partner. In the process, one is granted the right of annoying 'the one' for your entire life.
Despite all this, marriage is considered a sacred bond that guarantees togetherness with the person who will stay with you through the thick and thin.
With this, we get to you the seven stages of a marriage. Find out where you are.
In the first stage, it is romance and instant attraction that plays the magic. Both of you are young and loaded with the juice of youth. This stage is marked by honeymooning and the lovey-dovey immersion into each other.
This is the phase of fun and frolic, of feeling the mad love for each other. A complete feel good with sex being the cherry on the cake. This is cute, sensuous and above all, a wonderful feeling! It is the groundwork for a long-lasting marriage.
Reality strikes, here! Slowly you realise the human nature of your better half and his/her habits. You tend to get annoyed with certain habits as there is a gradual unfolding of two personalities.
All the 'good and best' do not look 'fine', now! This is the stage of mission and challenge for both, to accept each other despite all the differences. What sails you through this stage are assertive discussions and emphatic listening wrapped in respect and acceptance. This stage will be the groundwork for better understanding between two halves.
This is the inevitable third stage of a marriage wherein self-interest often overtakes the bonds of a marriage. This is the time when the two miss their earlier lives. Even for couples who have passed the stage of realisation, this is a tough stage to get through.
An inevitable stage in a marriage where both believe that they are right. The best way to tide over it is to learn a better way of fighting. The rebellions must not be stretched too far as they may result in disaster. Be ready to listen and also to make your better half understand. Learn to bury the hatchets when needed.
There will be complications but cooperation makes the marriage smooth. After the three stages are passed, this fourth stage is what helps the marriage to survive. There are responsibilities to be fulfilled now because of the transition from a couple to a family. Phew!
All the love and emotion are set aside as responsibilities and commitments come your way. You tend to ignore yourself and work to make the marriage last. Though a challenging stage, it brings the couple closer to each other amid the hustle-bustle of daily life. This stage has a duration of nearly 10 to 12 years.
In a nutshell, innumerable responsibilities are to be shouldered during this stage.
At this stage, you can breathe a sigh of relief, for both of you are together and have now come out of the storm emerging as winners, not survivors. This is the time to appreciate and celebrate the win with each other. Surely not as parents, but as companions (read lovers and friends) and thinkers.
But this is not the end. The passion for each other is stoked. It is only the middle age and the roles and expectations of the marriage have to be discussed again.
This is the stage when either or both of you are dealing with major life-changing events such as the loss of a job, kids having left you, financial problems and/or serious health issues. This generally happens when the couple is in 50s.
You try to look for solutions setting aside fear and stress. A stage where both of you are inseparable and can face this storm together.
This is a result of several decades of a 'shared life'. This is called the evolution of love between the two. Now, married life is complete with the belief that the fun still exists. Both the partners feel the heart beats within and are nowhere under the burden of the age they are at.
The woman is able to feel the girl within and the man is able to feel the boy within. Their childlike readiness for love, life, and laughter leads them to this blessed stage of a marriage.
It is patience and understanding that help to steer a relation through the storm.
We hope this piece helped you with the stage of marriage you are at and how to go about it.
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