**The sound got louder**
...when her husband left the bed at 1 am on his tip toes, she ignored it but what she couldn't ignore was this sound coming from his library later in the night. She followed the noise.
**Uhhh Ahhhhh.....voice stops**
She gathered some courage, twisted the door knob open and found her husband winding up his masturbation. She said nothing!
Is that so? Can we really leave the story that way? Do you think that night did not impact their marriage? Let's not turn a blind face towards this and try to deal with this hugely prevalent disease of porn addiction that is eating up love relationships. Allow me to openly 'discuss' with you and dig deeper to see just how is it affecting lives of everyone, including you and I.
Reading self-help books/fictional novels/biographies, spending time with your love interest, pursuing a hobby, investing time in learning something new become a far dream when all your palate seeks is some dark action on your laptop. Even in the slots that you have kept aside for your partner, for calling/texting her, you end up watching adult movies, and this is impacting your partner's mind big time.
You will be able to relate more to what I want to say here if you have seen the movie, Don Jon. The year 2013 Hollywood movie starring Scarlett Johansson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt talked about a porn-addicted youngster who had a girl people dream for. But, this youngster had some other way to derive pleasure, and that was through porn consumption which eventually ate up their relation, leading to a terrible breakup.
The plot was a mirror to the society today that sees so many individuals falling into the trap of this addiction.
Even before children get exposed to that Biology chapter, even before their parents feel comfortable enough to discuss sexual health with them, even before anything, the teenagers today become acquainted with watching adult movies. Their idea of 'love-making' gets so flawed that it affects them when they enter the adulthood.
This has happened to me and must've happened to you as well, that you learnt it all from those videos and got surprised to find out that the reality was different.
Too much of nothing is good, and this is a universal rule. While watching adult movies once in a few days should be considered as normal, if you're spending your weekends watching strings of episodes, you're well in danger. This habit of yours that's soon to become an addiction can hamper your love life, and my claim will be clear to you once you reach the end of the story.
Time for a reality check here, you tend to immerse yourself so much into the virtual reality of the sensuous world, that you start hoping for some unrealistic things from your partner. You become of a belief that what you see virtually is exactly how it normally works even in the real world. The made-up scenes in the adult movies start to empower over your mind and your sense of distinguishing between what's real and what's fake diminishes.
You see those stars, look at their perfect assets, have them imprinted deep in your mind only to compare your better half's physical characteristics with them. This is scientifically proven to kill physical intimacy.
Now, what these adult movie stars do on-screen is the result of something that's kept hidden from the eyes & minds sitting in front of their laptop. They fake orgasms, make poses that are impossible for normal beings to relate to, the movies hardly talk about 'love' during the intimacy, in fact, the whole scenario seems to have a massive void. But, all this does not matter to you in case you're trapped into thinking it as a reality and hope the same from your partner.
This leads to you hoping that your partner can imitate all those moves (that can only be imitated by a pro gymnast) and positions and eventually end up getting disappointed.
Even when you are a male and also happen to be a porn addict, you not only compare the body of your partner with that of the adult stars but also compare your own body with theirs. Everyone wishes to look closer to perfect, and these stars become your demigod with their quintessential physique.
But the thing here is, who knows if they're on enhancement-pills, performance-boosters, have undergone some surgery or for that matter, anything else to look how they look or do what they do.
This one's weird, very very weird, but true to its existence.
Forgive me for addressing this one in a 'You (2nd person)' context, but I have to do that. It so happens that you need to get creative with your imaginations while you are watching adult movies and to serve this hunger, you reach a level where you start imagining your own partner in the movies that you're watching.
To elaborate for my naive readers, when the porn consumer replaces the girl/boy in the act with his/her partner, that's when they became a victim of yet another ill-effect of watching it.
Polygamy, in this reference, is when you have more than one sexual partner involving in the act all at the same time. For example, if a female porn consumer starts to become obsessed about imagining two females and her partner or two males with herself making love, this is when the alarm rings.
Now, one may debate here that there's nothing wrong with this, so yes, I know there is nothing wrong with any individual preference, but if all this is the result of the type of porn you have consumed, it is worrisome.
BDSM is the new age word, and after publishing/releasing of Fifty Shades Of Grey, it reached a wide audience. Now again, it is one's choice, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with BDSM as is very beautifully made clear in the documentary, Kink (2013), but there is a click here.
When you try and copy those moves as if your mind is blindfolded, things go weird from being horny. Yes, here, in this case, you need to respect the level to which your partner can force herself/himself to serve your demand. In case you put any kind of force on them without their proper consent, it is no more fun, it is RAPE, and that's strictly unacceptable.
Photo courtesy: Dave Lynes
So there is a very thin line between love-making for the sake of showing your love (that's purely influenced by your true feelings for them) and going intimate for the sake of fulfilling your lust. With the society moving towards the new-age trends like breadcrumbing, it is obvious that the increasing consumption of adult content is alarming to the already suffering notion of love.
So, this becomes one more disadvantage and a big one!
What's a pseudo-personality? When you remain two-faced in front of the people you meet, you tend to have a pseudo personality that's hidden behind the curtains. If you are good to the people you meet on their face and spend your me-time imagining them without clothes, you certainly are sick, and your habit of watching adult movies is working as a fuel to fire.
Embarrassing enough? Read ahead...
You feel like you're bored of your partner when you've seen and done it all. You no more find interest in getting intimate towards your partner because there remains nothing new to be discovered and that's killing the shit out of you. You are now forced to seek for pleasure elsewhere and are in a constant search of a new sexual partner. My friend, in this condition, you are mindfu#*ed and you really need to do away from the four-letter-word.
Your loneliness is forcing you to resort to socially and ethically unacceptable measures that are killing you softly, you end up feeling like a lonely soul even being in a group, you have incarnated a very gloomy lifestyle, and this can all be a symptom of your wrong choices. One of the biggest among all can be your porn addiction (also the least blamed).
The web is too strong to be broken, but the chances are that if you don't break free, you'll be eaten up by the spider of porn.
A medical ailment, erectile dysfunction can be a result of excessive masturbation, no sense of sexual excitement and a lot else. But all this has some or the other connection with over viewing of adult content.
Firstly, accept and agree to the fact that you already are or you're close to becoming an addict (on the verge of falling into the pit) because everything starts with acceptability and there's no shame in that. Then, take a step further and try to understand that love in its purest form is free from all the physical notions. To get physical with your partner is of utmost importance but if the driving force behind it is not 'emotionally strong', it is going to take your relation nowhere. Soul purification is important and to attain that, I am not asking you to do away with this habit of yours completely, I'm asking you not to make a habit in the 1st place.
While in the developed countries like America, it is the loneliness that forces people to choose the path of porn addiction, in the developing nations like India & Nepal that still find an adult girl and a boy making out after having each other's consent as a crime, the need to consume porn and satisfy that need only looks obvious.
I'd like to leave you with a message that, "nothing is wrong unless it is harming the society" and addiction to porn is totally doing it, so don't be a part of it and don't let anyone else be.
This was an attempt to help my people, if you too wish to help, SHARE this article as much as you can to make the society realise about a new borne disease.