Have you ever felt an excruciating pain in your heart? The feeling of not being loved by that one person you've loved for long, the same agony that you go through when your mum or dad is in pain - this is what it feels when you experience an unrequited love.
Unrequited love, when the one you love doesn't love you back is something which is incredibly common. Over 90% of people have had some experience with it at least in their early 20s. The good news is that you're not alone, but what's worse is, what you may feel is a uniquely amazing, special, and star-crossed love that no one else could understand. I get it...I've been there, too.
Oh, wait! Now you might think of me as a relationship expert. Well, I'm certainly not because I fall into the category of people having no-hope-of-romance, but all that you've just read above is as told by Lisa A. Phillips, a journalism professor at State University of New York (SUNY), New Paltz, and a successful author of relationship novels.
Here I am, presenting you the people who've experienced the same you've been through or are in the current stage. So let's hear their life experiences!
She might have told a 'NO' and that she can only see me as nothing more than a friend, but love should always be unconditional and selfless. I still love her for who she is, not just her body. If it were just lust, it would have faded long back. But my love for her grows even after not being in contact for over a year and a half.
I hope Prasanna has made the concept quite clear for everyone out there.
If you love someone that deep and they don't recognise with, it's better to stay with the one you love, even as friends, don't rush your case. If today they are uncertain or uninterested, have hope that tomorrow they will get your feelings. Meanwhile, instead of making your emotional condition an impediment to success, turn it into a milestone. These are the things Shubham believes in, from his personal experience.
Well said, if you're really meant to be together with that person, love will find its way.
Love is not fair. Fairness implies Quid pro quo. Be honest in your own endeavours. If you miss them, better tell them. Text back, express yourself, show up, call them, but don't expect them to reciprocate your love. Everybody has their own demons, and nobody owes it to you to fight them. Himadri Shekhar says all this, and I agree with her thoughts as love will become eternal if done without expecting something in return.
Priyanka believes that everyone is entitled to his/her preferences and if someone doesn't love you it's their choice. You can't question it or find faults with yourself. Waiting for the person till eternity that they'll notice your love or accept it will only waste your time and you will get hurt at every instance. So better leave it there & move on!
If you fall in love with someone from a distance that you never interact with, it really isn't love & just infatuation or lust. If the person is in your life, it could be love regardless of whether they return that feeling. Loving someone with no chance of it ever being returned is fruitless, and it would be of greater benefit to accept reality and focus your attentions elsewhere. People have different opinions so does Brian has.
Santhosh has this to say: As a guy, as a love failure, I'm telling you, there is nothing better than a guy's one sided love. As long as you don't own her, the relationship (even though there is none), you feel every day exciting, every day colourful, every minute passes quickly. You wait for her, you stalk her. You can't force her to do something as you don't own her.
We respect your words, man!
Relationship expert Greg says that please don't call yourself a piece of shit. You are in love with someone who doesn't love you back, a perfectly average, although searingly painful, experience that most of us go through at some point in our life. If unrequited love makes you a piece of shit, then I must be an overflowing septic tank.
He takes his life experiences to learn from them & that too with fun.
Hoa Vu says unrequited love is when you feed your plant with the wrong fertilizer, or in this case, your fantasy. It still survives, but definitely, ain't a healthy one. Try to think of this: how can you be sure that you love someone when you haven't had a chance to go through their darkest hours yet? You're not obsessed or hopeless; you're just confused!
Are you sure enough that the person is the love of your life? Think again!
Richard shares his experience: If it was me, I'd walk away. Why waste my love on someone who doesn't appreciate my loving?
If you know you're good and you have value, why throw yourself away to someone who doesn't even see this? There are so many beautiful women out there!
I guess this makes sense. Isn't it?
You are not forced to love anyone. It's just a feeling that you have for someone & if you have that feeling for someone you can't stop yourself from loving someone. So, take it easy & don't force the person to be with you. It's his/her choice to love you. Love is free & can't be imposed on someone forcefully.
Udita Pal, a happy Quorian shares her experience: I once fell in love with this guy whose videos I saw on YouTube. Feelings were so strong, I actually pushed away all my friends who were coming in the way of getting him. I tried my best to impress him but was not able to. And one day when nothing worked out. I finally confessed it to him, it never worked out. He rejected me. Said he is not ready nor ever will be. It broke my heart but I acted all cool and we're friends now. Sometimes I want to end the conversation with 'I love you' and 'Take care' but I can't. And we are happy as bros now. Feelings do fade with time. In short, falling in love is the best thing but not loved back is worst.
It's your choice to make, would you like to ponder about that person all day, thinking of the reasons why they've rejected you, drinking alcohol and worrying about your future without doing anything worthy? Or you can rather focus on the rest of your life to make that good.
I firmly believe in one thing, if he/she has rejected you, then make up your mind & take that rejection as a wake-up call for your self-development, work your ass off, help others, do things you love, and as a result, you could become a whole new person. A person with an incredible zest towards their life.
So, are you aware enough if this is your wake-up call?
Gwen says, "You could talk to him, and invite him out to coffee. That way, you can find out if he has any interest in you. And if he turns you down, just be gracious and accept that he isn't interested in you. Realise there are tonnes of other guys out there, some of which are wishing you would notice them.
So, go & search for the ones that care about you enough to not let you go! That's core practicality.
Yeah, that's what I call. Love is unconditional, without boundaries, without limitations & without expectations. I suppose unrequited love is something everyone has experienced in their lifetime & there's no shame in that. It's natural but the decision is up to you whether you take it. You wave it a 'goodbye' or you keep the burden for the rest of your life.
I'd suggest you move on, make up your mind, make friends and spend the rest of your life in the best way. Even Rihanna sings 'We found love in the hopeless place', who knows your love may be waiting just around the corner in some hopeless place!
That's all folks. Keep smiling!