On In Relationship

The 4 Biggest Needs Of Men V/S The 4 Biggest Needs Of Women

Men and women are wired and structured pretty differently. The way they think, to the way they contemplate and comprehend, it's all visibly divergent. This might be one of the reasons why couples go through rough patches and fights because to a male it might come across as utterly futile, the way a woman thinks and deal with things, while it goes same for a woman, she can't understand how a man thinks and takes leads on things. To overcome all these issues and problems, both men and women, need to understand a few basic things about each other and keep them in their respective minds, if they wish to have a long lasting relationship or friendship with the opposite gender!

1.0 He needs to be respected

On the priority list of men, respect tops the charts. When in a study conducted by researcher Shaunti Feldhahn for her book, “For Women Only,” asked to choose between feeling inadequate and disrespected by everyone, or being alone and unloved, three out of four men chose to be alone and unloved. It might come as a shock to a lot of women, but perhaps it is true that men don't want to be loved without being respected. 

1.1 She needs to be loved 

Respect undoubtedly holds a high place in the life of women; they moreover need to feel loved. Every woman varies in how she must feel loved, but in general, women tend to appreciate phrases like, “I love you,” whereas men usually prefer, “I’m so proud of you.”

2.0 He needs to communicate via doing things together 

Most men can't contemplate and get confused over the scene where women enjoy and like sitting and talking for hours. Men also wish to communicate and bond with their female partners, but they ought to do so through shared activities rather than sitting and talking. Sociolinguist Deborah Tannen observed this while studying videos where best friends were asked to have a conversation while it was recorded on video. "For the girl best friends, this was natural. The conversation eventually evolved into discussing the problems of one of the girls. But for the boys, this was an awkward experience. Their conversations bounced from topic to topic. Eventually, they centered around an activity they set up to do together." 

2.1 She needs to communicate via everyday conversations 

A woman needs to talk to her better half almost daily about any and everything. Talking is the activity with which she associates intimacy. She needs to talk through her feelings: good, bad, funny, dangerous and so on. To connect with someone on an emotional and intellectual level, she needs this.

3.0 He expresses his love through frequent sex

Some women might have a more frequent sex drive than their partners, but in general, men tend to want sex more often. Marriage therapist Aaron Anderson said, "It’s important for women to remember that men want to have intimacy with their wives to express how much they love and not just to have sex in general."

3.1 She needs to feel appreciated to desire sex

Just like men, women enjoy intercourse too, but mostly when it meets her needs and not just physical needs, emotional and mental too. Unlike men, most women aren’t in the mood at a moment’s notice; they need to feel connected emotionally before intimacy takes over. You need to give women more anticipation time before jumping onto sex.

4.0 He needs alone time to sort out his thoughts

Men and women sort through their emotions differently. Men often need a lot of time to process what they are feeling. They can't comprehend and contemplate what they think until they’ve done some long, hard pondering. A man would often withdraw from an argument, to think before he says something hurtful instantly. 

4.1 Women need to sort out their thoughts through talking

Women are often hurt when their loved ones like boyfriends or husbands leave in the middle of a conversation, and men, as they are, angrily explode when pressed for a resolution. This is because most men and women sort through their emotions differently. Women have to talk through things to understand what they are feeling. She'd like to hide those feelings under the surface until she can express them verbally. When her partner leaves mid conversation, it cuts that opportunity for her.

The need!

It’s not that women don’t want to be respected, and men don’t want to be loved, but both of them have differences in priorities and are sometimes what makes communicating in relationships feel so foreign. Everyone needs to be appreciated, loved and understood. We all just need to learn how to meet those requirements in the way our partners crave. That's all, mates. You can reach out to me on drishti@wittyfeed.com.Stay tuned!